


The Heathers Enigma

by CaptainHackSparrow



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Book Nerd Veronica, But Still Head Bitch Chandler, F/F, JD is annoying, Less Head Bitch Chandler Because College Is A Big Place, Martha is the real MVP here, Still Cheerleader McNamara, Theater Geek Duke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainHackSparrow/pseuds/CaptainHackSparrow
Summary: Veronica wakes up after spending the night with Heather. The question is, which Heather?(I'm sorry that school and my depression have been getting in the way of writing this for so long. I'm doing my best to update soon! 5.27.18)





	1. First Impressions

“Shut up, Heather!”

There were certainly more pleasant words to be woken up by, as were there were certainly more pleasant volumes to be woken up by. However, this was how Veronica Sawyer’s morning started. It was not a “Good morning, sweetheart,” like those she received when she stayed over at her parents’ place for Christmas break each year. Nor was it a “Wake up, Veronica, they have pancakes in the cafeteria,” from her excitable best friend Martha. She would even have taken the familiar drone of her alarm clock waking her up for class over this. Unfortunately, she was not at liberty to decide what woke her up each day. 

“Sorry, Heather.”

“Careful, you two, you’ll wake up our guest!”

Veronica’s brain slowly distinguished the conversation into three separate voices as it struggled to recall which muscles to use to pry open her sleep-sealed eyelids. She groaned as a sharp pain pierced her temple.

“Now you’ve done it,” the third voice sighed. “Heather, can you hand me that glass?”

The semi-conscious girl finally opened her eyes at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. A girl stood over her, wearing a bright yellow dress and a sheepish smile. “Drink this, you’ll feel a lot better,” she insisted, offering her a glass of foul looking liquid. “I know it looks gross, but it really works. Heather invented it herself. It’s helped us cure hangovers since ninth grade.”

Veronica looked down to find herself lying covered in a blanket on an unfamiliar couch. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and accepted the glass from her. “Uh, thanks,” she mumbled. She made quick work of downing the whole glass, which tasted about as awful as it looked. Her expression must have given away her disgust because she looked up to see another girl in green pajamas stifling a laugh. The first girl frowned at her.

“I can’t help it if she’s going to make that face,” the girl defended herself. Veronica identified her as the second voice. She turned and entered a separate room without a second glance at her.

Veronica attempted to take a look around at the painfully bright room, but the morning sunlight streaming in through the windows hurt both her eyes and head. She dropped her head into her hands with another groan and shut her eyes tightly. The couch dipped beside her as she felt the first girl sit down beside her. 

“Ignore her. I’m Heather McNamara,” the girl introduced herself. “I told you last night, but I’m not sure what you remember.”

Veronica dropped her hands from her head and looked over at her. “The last thing I remember about last night was walking by the courtyard on my way home from studying.” She recalled watching a wild party unfold on the wide lawn as she walked by. She had briefly wondered what it would be like to be in the place of one of the drunk partiers. She definitely led a more driven lifestyle. 

“It’s Heather’s fault you got dragged into the party,” the girl explained.

“You’re talking about yourself in the third person?” Veronica questioned. 

Heather laughed. “Of course not. I mean Heather Chandler.” She pointed out onto a balcony where a red clad girl was smoking a cigarette. “Incidentally, she’s also the one who woke you up by being so loud.”

Heather stood up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen. “Do you want some breakfast? I made eggs.” 

“Yeah, sure. Thank you.” The hangover remedy was starting to kick in, so Veronica stood up to follow Heather. The blanket dropped to the ground and the cold air hit her bare legs. She looked down to see all that she was wearing on her lower half was a pair of underwear that she didn’t recognize. Now that she had gotten a good look at it, this shirt definitely wasn’t hers either. 

Veronica snatched the blanket from the ground and held it wrapped securely around her waist. She could guess that her cheeks mirrored her embarrassment from how warm they felt. “Um, Heather?”

Heather reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen. “Yeah, Veronica, what’s up?”

“Where are my clothes?” Veronica looked around the room as she spoke, as if it would provide her with an answer.

“Heather was kind enough to run them down to the laundry room this morning. They’re over there,” she replied, pointing to an armchair with a pile of clothes laying on it. She looked past Veronica. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

Veronica spun around to see the third girl returning from the room she had entered, now dressed for the rest of her day. “You’re a Heather, too?” 

The last Heather gave a confirming nod, but otherwise ignored her. She looked past her at McNamara. “Are you ready to go?”

“Not yet, Veronica and I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.”

Veronica studied the greenly dressed girl in front of her for a moment before interrupting the exchange between the two. “Thanks for washing my clothes, but why were they off of me in the first place?”

“That would be Heather’s fault,” the green Heather, whose last name Veronica did not yet know, answered.

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down.”

“She means me,” Chandler’s voice replied from behind her. Veronica turned around to see her closing the balcony door behind her as she reentered the apartment. “And it’s her own fault if she couldn’t stomach it.”

“Heather gave you more beer than you could keep down, and you threw up all over your clothes,” McNamara clarified. “Then you passed out.”

Veronica knew enough about the world and how it worked to know what being drunk the previous night then waking up in a stranger’s home in someone else’s clothes meant. Although, admittedly, this was a first for her. One night stands weren’t her usual style. Then again, neither was getting smashed, throwing up on herself, and passing out.

Veronica turned to McNamara. (Her still semi-disoriented head was getting dizzy from all of the spinning around to look at people. Was it too much to ask for them all to stand in the same section of the room?) “So whose clothes am I in?”

“Heather Chandler’s,” McNamara supplied helpfully. “I know you probably have a lot more questions, but can you ask them over breakfast?”

After a moment of consideration, Veronica nodded. “Yeah, sure.” She followed her into the kitchen and accepted a plate of eggs from her when it was offered. 

“Heather and I are heading out,” the green Heather called from the common room. “Remember to lock up when you leave this time. I don’t want to get robbed.”

McNamara called out her goodbyes to her two friends as they sat down at the kitchen counter. It was a few minutes before Veronica spoke again, being too preoccupied with the food in front of her. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was. Then again, if she had apparently emptied her dinner onto herself last night, then it made sense for her to be so.

Just as Veronica was finishing, an alarm went off on Heather’s phone and she jumped up faster than if her chair was on fire. “Shit, I’m gonna be late to English! Are you done eating?” She ran to a separate room without awaiting an answer. Veronica, seeing that she wouldn’t have much time to hang around, rushed to grab her clothes from the armchair and changed into them. 

Heather returned with her school bag in tow and pulled Veronica by the hand out of the apartment. It didn’t take her long to lock up and afterwards Veronica had to scramble to keep up with her as she sped down the long hallways. 

“Sorry we didn’t get to answer any of your questions,” she said as they pushed through the front doors of the apartment complex. She led them to her car, which was parked right in front of the building. “But I’ll find you later and explain everything in case you have any more questions, I promise. See you later!” 

Before Veronica could utter a word in reply, she was in her car and driving away. The girl sighed as she studied her surroundings. She had no idea where she was. However, behind the frustration of being completely lost burned the same uncertainty she’d had since she woke up.

Heather McNamara had brought her home last night.

She had woken up in Heather Duke’s apartment.

She had also woken up wearing Heather Chandler’s clothes.

So the question remained; if she had had a one night stand last night, which Heather had it been with?

Veronica let out an irritated groan as she checked her watch. Nevermind that. McNamara wasn’t the only one running late to class. At least she had some way to get there and a sense of where she was, she thought to herself bitterly. Still, as she ran toward the bus stop to catch a bus that was just arriving, she couldn’t help but spare a quick glance over her shoulder towards the building she was leaving behind her. She hoped this wasn’t the last time she would see the Heathers.


	2. Freeze Your Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and Martha have an interesting junk food spree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thanks to the amazing abo_trash, who not only gave me advice for this chapter but also beta'ed it for me! Please shower them with lots of love and consider reading their amazing fic Trial Run <3<3<3
> 
> Also many thanks to all of you for reading and for commenting such nice things! So those of you who haven't given feedback yet, if you're reading: which pairing are you rooting for? I do have a set ending but I'm also taking all of your opinions into account. (It'll make sense in the end, promise)

“How hard can it be to find beef jerky?” Veronica grumbled, scanning the snack aisle once again. “It’s been at least fifteen minutes!”

It had only been about ten minutes since the pair entered the 7-11, but Martha didn’t mention that. Beef jerky was Veronica’s go to stress food. The girl had obviously had a bad day if she was this hellbent on finding it. Luckily, the other didn’t need to guess at what was upsetting her; Veronica had given her a very heated first-hand account of the events of that morning over lunch.

“I’m checking the candy aisle,” she exclaimed, exasperated, before turning on her heel and darting towards the end of the long rows of shelves. 

“Wait!” Martha lunged forward and grabbed her by the arm, bringing her friend to a halt. Thanks to her, Veronica narrowly avoided knocking heads with another customer who had been crossing the aisle at a much more appropriate pace.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Veronica quickly said. She looked up at the taller customer. 

“No harm done,” he responded with a fetching smile. He pushed his chair out of his eyes to better see her. “What was it you were looking for?” 

“Beef jerky,” she replied hesitantly.

“It’s right over here.” He rounded the corner separating the snack and candy aisles and returned seconds later with a box. 

“Uh, thank you. You really know your way around here, huh?”

“Like the back of my hand. Let’s just say it’s like a second home to me.”

“I didn’t catch your name.”

His face fell into a coy smirk. “I didn’t throw i-”

“Stop pulling on my dick, Heather,” a loud voice from the other end of the store interrupted. “We’re just stopping to get corn nuts, then we’ll leave.”

Veronica’s head whipped towards the entrance at the familiar voice. “Shit!” 

“What is it?” Martha asked, turning towards her friend in time to see her duck behind the snack aisle. 

“Those are the Heathers,” Veronica explained, pulling Martha down to crouch behind the shelves with her. She peaked through gaps between chip bags to watch the group arguing as they searched aisles.

The boy simply stood above them wearing an amused expression as he watched them. “I take it you aren’t exactly on good terms with them?” He didn’t bother keeping quiet to avoid being overheard like Veronica had.

She scowled at him over her shoulder. “You’re not helping,” she hissed. “If you’re going to attract attention to yourself, could you at least do it somewhere else?”

He chuckled and saluted her before he obliged and walked over to the slushie machine.

“First you can’t stop talking about them, but now that they’re here, you hide? I thought you wanted to see them again,” Martha whispered to her once he was gone. 

Veronica sighed and rested her head against the cold metal shelf. “Yeah. So did I. Now I’m not as sure.”

“How are you going to find out which one of them you spent the night with last night if you won’t even talk to them?” 

Veronica sighed. They both knew that Martha was right. “Well if you’re such an expert, what the hell am I supposed to say to them?”

Since the comment came from her anxiety rather than genuine rudeness, Martha was willing to let it slide. “Well, you could start with hello.”

“And then what?” Veronica groaned in reply. “Ask them if they like long walks on the beach?”

Martha couldn’t help but let out a poorly suppressed giggle. “There are worse conversation starters.” All she received in reply was an irritated glare. “Come on Vera, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“I don’t even know where to begin with answering that. It’s so much better for my first time to be a stranger than to be someone who becomes an enemy, so I’m not going to risk it.” She peered again through various food packages at the trio. “Besides, I bet we have nothing in common.”

“How hard can it be to find corn nuts?” Heather McNamara exclaimed loud enough to be heard throughout the small store. “We’ve been looking for an eternity!”

“See,” Martha said, “she sounds just like you!”

“I believe they’re in the snack aisle.”

Veronica’s eyes darted toward the familiar voice. The boy looked back at her with a brazen grin. He gave her a double thumbs up. She flipped him off.

The clacking sound of the Heathers’ high heels on the linoleum tiles grew closer, competing with the clamour of Veronica’s heart pounding in her ears. Her mind whirled as she struggled to figure out an appropriate phrase to say to them. She was coming up empty.

Her negligence didn’t stop the three from rounding the corner into the aisle. She locked eyes with Heather Chandler and for an endless half moment no one spoke.

“Hey, funny seeing you all here,” Veronica faltered. Had she had more time to reflect on this greeting, she would have winced. Out of all the ways to say hello this was definitely not the right one.

“Why are you on the floor?” The green Heather asked.

Veronica looked down to see that she was in fact still on the floor. In her desperation to find something to say she had forgotten about that. “Uh…”

“We were looking for this,” Martha answered, grabbing a bag of trail mix from the bottom shelf. Veronica mentally rejoiced in her friend’s quick wit as she stood up hurriedly and brushed herself off. She helped Martha up before turning back to the Heathers. It was hard to take her eyes off them for long. There was something about them- probably their beauty mixed with the mystery they held- that made it hard to look away.

“I’m so glad we found you, Ronnie! We’ve been looking for you all day,” Heather McNamara gushed, stepping forward to give her a quick hug. 

Martha gave her a perplexed look at the nickname, but Veronica was just as clueless on that front as she was.

Heather McNamara must have caught the confused glance between the two because she was quick to explain. “Is it still okay to call you that? You didn’t seem to mind last night, but I know you probably don’t remember a lot of what happened.”

“Hey Veronica, sorry to interrupt but I have to get to English,” Martha cut in. Both knew this was an outright lie- she didn’t have English for another two hours.

Veronica quelled a sigh of relief. Bless her for giving her a way out. “Okay, I’ll walk you.”

“That’s okay, it’s not far. I can manage.” Martha smiled sweetly, feigning innocence. Veronica grit her teeth as she left.

“What are you doing this afternoon?” The green Heather asked her. She was really going to have to learn her last name. 

Veronica stared back at her. Was she asking her out? “Um, just homework, I guess. I don’t have anymore classes today. Why?”

“We want you to come to another party with us tonight,” McNamara declared proudly. 

“But you need a makeover first,” Chandler said.

She took a step back from them almost automatically. “What?”

“Don’t worry, Ron, we don’t bite.” Chandler smirked. “Usually.” She took her by the wrist before pulling her with them as they left the store, corn nuts completely forgotten. 

Jesus, Veronica thought, what had she gotten herself into?


	3. Chance Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and JD hang out at the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you can probably skip this chapter because nothing that essential to the plot happens, they literally just hang at the mall, but I wrote it anyway because it was fun to write. I hope it's as fun to read!  
> Also sorry if the formatting is weird, I'm posting this on my phone on the bus on the way home from work. I'll check it out on my computer once I get home to make sure it looks okay.

Veronica breathed a sigh of relief as she walked out of the store and into the rest of the mall. Being a Thursday afternoon, it wasn’t too crowded. She smiled at her newfound freedom. The Heathers were exhausting. She glanced at her watch. It was already past four.

 

During the two hours she had spent with the group since they met at the 7-Eleven, she had barely been able to get a word in edgewise. There was hardly and space in the conversation between the three of them, especially with McNamara’s excited chatter. It was a little overwhelming.

 

Thankfully, the green Heather- whose last name Veronica had since learned was Duke- had been the first to finally notice that she was having trouble keeping up. She suggested that she let them handle this and take a break. After a little persuasion from both Duke and Mac, Chandler agreed to let her free for a half hour once they had all put their numbers in her phone.

 

It had been a while since Veronica had been to the mall- the last time had been with Martha at the end of ninth grade- and her interests had certainly changed since then. She had no idea which stores would have things she’d like in them. She decided to just pick one at random and give it a try. Hot Topic was the closest.

 

Veronica looked around herself and shook her head. “Nope, definitely a mistake.” She remembered really liking this store when she had been younger. Now she couldn’t find the appeal.

 

“What’s a mistake?” 

 

She turned her head from the wall of band shirts to see the 7-Eleven kid standing in front of her dressed in black jeans and a grey shirt. She couldn’t help but grin. “What, no trenchcoat this time?”

 

He returned the grin almost automatically. “Apparently the customers find it off-putting.”

 

“Trenchcoats have been known to do that-” she looked at his nametag- “Jason.”

 

“Actually, it’s JD,” he corrected. “I’m just required to put a full first name on the nametag. So what brings you to Hot Topic, 7-Eleven girl?”

 

“A mistake.” He laughed at that. “Oh, and outside of convenience stores I go by Veronica. So, Jason, you work here?”

 

“It’s JD,” he corrected again. 

 

“After the stunt you pulled with the corn nuts, I’ll call you whatever I want,” she said with a smile brought on by the fact that she had found a way to get back at him for that. 

 

“Me?” He placed a hand on his chest, mocking sincerity. “I was simply doing my duty as a civilian to help those in need. I knew where the corn nuts were, and I, like the helpful soul I am, pointed them out.”

 

She snorted. “Yeah, well your ‘civilian duty’ landed me an entire afternoon with them.”

 

He gave a poor attempt at suppressing a laugh. “Is that really so bad?”

 

“Mostly they’re cool,” Veronica admitted, “but they talk a lot, they’re overbearing, and they want me to go to some party with them tonight. They’re insisting on giving me this huge makeover but aren’t letting me make any decisions. Mostly I’ve just been standing there listening to them argue.”

 

“So how’d you get away?”

 

She glanced at her watch. “I’m on a Heathers-approved break for the next twenty-eight minutes. Hey, shouldn’t you be working or something?”

 

Jason took her arm to look at her watch since he wasn’t wearing one himself. “I’m on a manager-approved break for the next fourteen minutes.”

 

“You’ve chosen to spend your break in this place? Isn’t working here enough?” She gestured to the walls full of ripped jeans and shirts with pictures of edgy bands on them. 

 

“I happen to like it here. And no, I’ve chosen to spend my break talking to you,” he corrected with yet another smirk. With that he walked past her out the front doors to the store.

 

“Am I supposed to follow you?”

 

“That would be ideal, yes,” he replied over his shoulder.

 

Veronica caught up and began walking in stride with him. She still wasn’t sure if he more amused or irritated her. He reminded her vaguely of a vending or gumball machine; the only difference was that instead of charging you for tasty treats, he dispensed sarcasm and sardonic humor whether you wanted any or not. 

 

“Where are we headed?” Jason suddenly asked after a few moments.

 

“I assumed you knew. You’re the one that started walking about in the first place,” she pointed out.

 

“Oh, I do know,” he said. “I figured that if you weren’t going to ask, I would have to ask for you. The answer is that we’re going to the best store in the mall, Barnes and Noble.”

 

She looked at him with a new sense of appreciation. “Wow Jason, I didn’t peg you as a book nerd.”

 

He regarded her suspiciously. “Are you telling me you’re not a book nerd?”

 

“Of course not! Who do you take me for, a fool?” She took a left at the entrance. It may have been a while since she had been to this mall, but she could still find her favorite section in her sleep. She had spent enough afternoons getting lost in the worlds contained in these books to permanently ingrain the location into her mind.

 

Jason, who had taken a right, stopped when he realized they had gone separate directions and turned to her. “Where are you going?”

 

“The Classics section. Why, where are you going?”

 

He made a face in joking contempt. “The cliche section? Really? I’m going to Horror.”

 

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh yeah, like the cheap thrills genre could ever compete with books so good they’ve lasted hundreds of years.”

 

“Stephen King could beat out your pretentious books any day!”

 

“How can you even compare Stephen King to the works of George Orwell or Fyodor Dostoyevsky?”

 

The look of fake contempt dropped from his face and was replaced with a curious expression. “Fyodor who?”

 

“Fyodor Dostoyevsky,” she repeated herself. “He was a famous Russian novelist in the late 1800s.”

 

His eyes lit up as he came to a realization. “He wrote Crime and Punishment! I knew that his name sounded familiar.”

 

She grinned widely. “I love that book! I've actually been meaning to pick up a new copy, mine got kind of destroyed. But hey, how do you know that book? I thought my books were 'pretentious’ and 'cliche,’” she said, using finger quotes teasingly.

 

“Nah, I was just messing with you. Classics are the best,” he said, walking past her towards the classics section. She hoped this wasn't a usual habit of his, walking somewhere and expecting people to follow. 

 

He picked up a copy of Crime and Punishment off the shelf and presented it to her with flourish. “Here you are.”

 

“Why thank you,” she laughed as she took it before glancing at her watch again. 

 

“Where's the fire?”

 

“Hmm?” She looked at him blankly, not following.

 

“It's only been a few minutes since you last checked your watch,” he pointed out. “What's the rush?”

 

“Oh sorry, I’m just worried about losing track of time and pissing the Heathers off by being late,” she explained.

 

He raised an eyebrow. “You keep calling them that.”

 

“Well, that's their name.” This time she was the one who received a blank look in response. “They're all named Heather. I think that's why they became friends. Given how often they fight, it certainly wasn't charisma.”

 

“So how'd you become part of their group? Is Heather your last name or something?”

 

“I'm not part of their group, I think they just find me amusing. Who knows why. Anyway, my last name is Sawyer, not Heather.”

 

“Ah well, so much for that theory,” he said, turning his attention back to the rows of books.

 

“What's your last name? What does the D stand for?” 

 

He shook his head without looking at her, although he was smiling. “I'm not giving in that easily. You'll just use it against me.”

 

“No I won't! Scout's honor.” She held up one hand as if in oath. “Come on, end the suspense.”

 

He sighed. “Fine, fine, it's Dean.”

 

“Jason Dean,” she said. “It has a nice sort of ring to it. So, what's a nice guy like you doing working in a place like Hot Topic?” 

 

He raised an eyebrow at her again. Who did he think he was, Sherlock Holmes? “Is that a pick up line?”

 

Veronica let out a loud laugh, surprised at the question. An older woman in the section next to them gave her a harsh glare. She stopped abruptly. “No, I'm just genuinely curious.”

 

“Ah, well in that case, I just moved here and needed a job. I applied to some other places and Hot Topic was the first to offer me a position,” he said. 

 

“So you're not going to school right now or anything like that?”

 

He chuckled. “College isn't exactly in my budget at the moment.”

 

Both startled slightly as they were pulled out of their conversation by a loud beep. Veronica pulled out her phone and groaned at the message from Duke, which read, 'Shopping done. Come back. -D.’ She regretted letting the Heathers put her ringer on full volume so that they could contact her more immediately. From the short time she had known them, it seemed to her like they were always in a rush to get one thing done in order to move on to another.

 

“Sorry, I gotta go. They finished early,” she apologized with a sheepish smile.

 

“Hold on.” He pulled a pen out of his back pocket and reached for her arm. “I'll give you my number so we can hang more when you're not on the Heathers’ leash.”

 

She snorted and held out her arm to him. “Do you just carry a pen around?”

 

He grinned at her. “Yes, in case I have a revolutionary epiphany and need to write it down.”

 

Her phone beeped again, this time with a message from McNamara. ‘Just a heads up, D gets pissed if you don't respond to her texts. -M.’ She typed out a quick 'Thanks!’ back and 'Coming’ to Duke before sliding her phone back into her pocket. 

 

“Well let me know if you have any,” she said with a parting half wave.

 

“You'll be the first.” He gave her a salute like he had in the 7-Eleven and walked away towards the horror section. 

  
Veronica took a deep breath as she turned her footsteps back towards where she came, mentally preparing herself for the night ahead. The party was going to be her chance to get each Heather alone and get answers. She couldn't mess this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey soooo I don't have a beta anymore so that's why there may be some mistakes in this chapter that I didn't catch. Feel free to comment and I will fix them. Also comment if you wanna be my new beta?  
> So this chapter was also a bit longer, let me know if it's a good length, if you liked the length the previous chapters are better, or if you think this was still too short. I will do my best to improve based on feedback! :)


End file.
